"It's 2016, a Clinton is running for president, Britney Spears is musically relevant and Pokemon is more popular than Playstation."No? We were never good with 90s stuff anyways. But we did hit on a suddenly obvious point in America. Pokemon Go proves that furries are so much more than just sex aphrodisiacs.
They can generate a struggling gaming company's market value $7.5 billi in two days, overtake Tinder and Twitter's daily usage and give folks much needed exercise. The latter point is the most important after all, ain't it?
Since our EIC is a cheap arschloch who barely pays his data plan, we couldn't afford downloading Pokemon Go ourselves, unfortunately. And it's free!
So we'll remain innocent bystanders in the office, for now.
Actually becoming Pokemon Trainers in the physical world was just too much to keep to yourselves, huh?
Already, that app has brought us creative robbery schemes, epic vehicular wrecks and assumedly unattractive people walking off cliffs while aiming those virtual Pokeballs at Psyduck's round ass at the ocean below. You've even found bodies.
You've desecrated the 9/11 Memorial and The Holocaust Museum with your Poke exploits(which we would cheer on, but then we'd be super anti-Semitic).
And Central Park became your latest victim Friday. So with all this hubbub, and our dislike of "fads," time to give a much needed reality check......to all those who say grown adults are wasting time with this game.
Invading a funeral which happens to be a Poke Stop, or going behind someone's home for Raichu is horrible. We get it. But it's not like that can't be fixed by re-configuring how stops spawn. We'll just silently cheer on these egregious intrusions while that happens.
With something like this, there's bound to be some who go overboard. But hundreds, if not thousands or millions, text and walk daily without noticing that wood chipper in their path. Where's your outrage there? Huh? HUH?
On the idea of adults needing to have "better things to do" with their time, one thing. How the hell do you know what those Millennials are doing with their time? You do realize that "work time" and "pay bills and rent time" eventually ends, leaving room for "leisure time?"
And to the Alex Jones-loving conspiracy nuts who'll scream this is a gov't distraction, who says people can't be Ash Ketchum AND protest with BLM? Just because we can walk and chew gum at the same time, and you can't, doesn't mean you gotta hate.
We're probably contradicting ourselves, given our attitude against pop trends. But Pokemon Go is telling us that particular contradiction is okay. It's getting people outside, exploring and meeting new humans. Not too shabby, and definitely better than fake hoverboards.
So gratzi to Pokemon Go. We won't be using it, but that doesn't mean your grown self reading this can't. and also have time for grown-up stuff!
That's proper adulting.
Credit for picture goes to http://thewardrobedoor.com/2016/07/churches-pokemon-go.html