But, that's not exactly what happened. Technically, Clinton did hit her finisher (We'll call it "The Clintonite.") on Trump-with the help of far more votes-and had the pin. However, a referee distraction from Russia and Wikileaks allowed the Electoral College to hit Clinton over her skull with a steel chair. Then angry, Rust Belt voters-who've felt nothing but abandonment-brought Trump to his knees.
And in that brief window, The Don hit his finisher (We'll call it "The Orange Man."), voters tapped the referee, still facedown, but struggling to move; he finally maneuvered to the pair, counted the pin, and handed that belt to Trump.
Yes, people. A man who's created the word "Bigly,"a man who may have raped a 13-year-old, and a man who's about to have a march in his honor by the Klan, will be our next W.H.H.C.
Ladies and Gentleman, the bar for success in America has just reached a new low. Bush Jr., you're off the hook. If you want that CEO job at Insomnia Cookies, but you're never so much as balanced a plastic Barbie checkbook, Goddamnit, GO FOR IT!
Wanna be an NBA star, but can't shoot a basket even if you set-up a ladder that reaches the rim? Contact Adam Silver!
Wanna model alongside Tyra Banks, but you look like the love child of Methuselah and Meg Griffin? Hit up Ford Models with your camera-melting looks and get your shot!
We're living in what our EIC likes to call. "The New Mediocrity." And since things will continue down this path, get used to it.
Essentially, Americans had two choices of fascism for their next W.H.H.C.
The former, cloaked in a pandering pantsuit with Wall Street donations and a storied history of serving U.S. interests; and the latter, decked out with an ugly toupee and a heaping show of full frontal racism and sexism, had their match. The latter got the win, and gets to gallivant freely with his 25 pounds of gold-for at least the next four years.
Welcome to the Trumpian Clown show.
Credit for picture goes to http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/11/08/first-polls-close-in-2016-race-trump-projected-to-win-ind-ky-clinton-wins-vt.html