But he's a black man, swimming in a sea of White supremacists and their ilk, who probably curse his skin every time he leaves the room.
And when he recently began the position of secretary of Housing and Urban Development, we hoped his experiences with racism and poverty would help steer his efforts. Even marginally, to ensure that black and brown youth forced into public housing go on to have better lives in that situation
Ah, the hell are we kidding?
Roll the tape!
From the Huffington Post's coverage of Carson's ideas of Americana:
“That’s what America is about,” Carson said. “A land of dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great grandsons, great granddaughters might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”There aren't enough WTF's out there we at HD in Effect can supply for this. Even if we went to this guy's home.
We never knew the slaves willingly came here.
And there sure were opportunities for those immigrant servants on those hot, steamy plantations. After all, they were given the opportunities to not be allowed to learn to read, work from sunrise to sundown without pay, and get raped and impregnated with the slaveowner's baby. And after all that, they reached the ultimate opportunity in such a situation--death.
What exactly could be the reason behind Carson's revisionist history lesson? We pondered the question over the two weeks since he delivered it. And we came up with these three reasons right below:
3. He took history lessons from Trump University : We're willing to suspect breadren copped his American History 101 from his new boss's now defunct univ. of higher learning. Ben, we at HD in Effect are sorry to break the news to you, centuries late. But the slaves didn't come to this country ala Ellis Island. They didn't get stamped and then forced into Manhattan slums with the Eastern European undesirables.
And what they worked for was not a quiet existence in some roundabout town with pennies to their name. No, their work didn't get them any money. Or the right to buy land. Or a house. Or their own bathroom. Or just about any type of private property ever. Please, do us all a favor, and ditch whatever history books the Orange gang copped you.
2 .He's actually Rachael Dolezal in disguise: Racheal Dolez..ahem, we meant, "The Woman Formerly Known As Rachel Dolezal," (now Nkechi Amare Diallo.) became the nation's most unfavorite white black woman when she burst onto the scene a few years ago. And she's as delusional as anyone serving in Mr. Orange's cabinet. So, why couldn't Ms. Diallo have concocted such a plan? News reports say she's broke, and a scheme like this seems like the perfect way to get speaking engagement cash from inbred elites at Skinhead U. All she'd have to do is get some good ol fashioned blackface, padded shoulders and a safety cup in the groin, and she'd be good to go!
1. He thinks "Coming To America" is real life: Perhaps the only world out there where the idea of African slaves normally emigrating here is factual is in the same where Zamunda actually exists. "Coming To America's over the top, "is Africa really like that?" steelo, with James Earl Jones's African accent sounding worse than a Mariah Carey performance without lip-synching, is the perfect environment for the slave emigre narrative. Too bad it's not actually real life. But for Carson, it just might be. And that would explain EVERYTHING.
This was originally gonna be five reasons, but TBH, we're going through another writer's block phase, so this is all we got for now. But do not worry, HD in Effect faithful. We will drown ourselves in as much Just The Clusters: Vanilla Almond cereal it takes to reverse these effects. Then, get back on our soapboxes for your enjoyment.
Credit for picture goes to http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/13/us/ben-carson-fast-facts/.