Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Let's add one more "guys" to that so you get that we're just trying to calm you down. Because we know you've seen this Pepsi ad with hipster millennials and their starter kit protest, presumably somewhere in Cali, with peace signs, stopping along the way to cheer some random with a violin and stuff. Cause you gotta have a moment during these tense demonstrations to listen to a lil' Kreisler. Enroute to facing down fascism, of course.
Oh, and Kendall Jenner just happens to be modeling some fake blonde wig while all this goes on outside her studio.
And because no protest (with no corporate desires whatsoever) can leave out diversity, they remembered to include a Muslim woman apparently pissed off at her photography project. But, as the protestors proceed, the fuzz is nearby with a roadblock.
So, being the so--not--TV manufactured superhero she is, Jenner decides it's time to strip off that wig and lipstick and RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! She's faced with a decision. Wait for these cops to come and inexplicably beat up these 21st Century Counterculture rejects? Who look more like stock catalog store images come to life than legit demonstrators? Or provide a distraction with something tasty?
Of course, somebody happened to bring that tasty thing-a Pepsi, from a collection that just happened to be nearby. And Kendall knew donuts are so passe in getting cops to stand down. Sodas are so much better for that nowdays!
BTW, props to that guy who gave Jenner a pound for grabbing that Pepsi.
EDIT: Also, we see you, two black Muslim guys smiling at the cops! This ad now gets two more diversity points.
Jenner then passes the beverage to one stone-faced cop. He then takes a sip, and begins to let his guard down.
Look at em muddatruckin' kids, smiling and hopping like Jesus returned. And the Muslim woman is taking snaps like she's gonna win a Pulitzer.
Now they wont have to worry about Johnny Law beating their brains in with N-word beaters, regardless of whether they're violent or not. It's that easy, people. The next time 5.0 lurks around demonstrations, all we gotta do is hand em some good ol' water with brown sugar flavoring, wrapped up in a can.
And they'll be nice to us! Police brutality solved. Quick, somebody reading this, DM us Mike Brown's parents' phone numbers so we can spread the good news.
Kendall Jenner deserves a Nobel Prize for her work. In just 2 minutes, she stopped her photo shoot, enjoyed some violin work, and quelled possible cop violence with a Pepsi.
Damn. Wonder if MLK Jr. would've loved to have a Pepsi on hand in 60s Birmingham.
Let's add one more "guys" to that so you get that we're just trying to calm you down. Because we know you've seen this Pepsi ad with hipster millennials and their starter kit protest, presumably somewhere in Cali, with peace signs, stopping along the way to cheer some random with a violin and stuff. Cause you gotta have a moment during these tense demonstrations to listen to a lil' Kreisler. Enroute to facing down fascism, of course.
Oh, and Kendall Jenner just happens to be modeling some fake blonde wig while all this goes on outside her studio.
And because no protest (with no corporate desires whatsoever) can leave out diversity, they remembered to include a Muslim woman apparently pissed off at her photography project. But, as the protestors proceed, the fuzz is nearby with a roadblock.
So, being the so--not--TV manufactured superhero she is, Jenner decides it's time to strip off that wig and lipstick and RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! She's faced with a decision. Wait for these cops to come and inexplicably beat up these 21st Century Counterculture rejects? Who look more like stock catalog store images come to life than legit demonstrators? Or provide a distraction with something tasty?
Of course, somebody happened to bring that tasty thing-a Pepsi, from a collection that just happened to be nearby. And Kendall knew donuts are so passe in getting cops to stand down. Sodas are so much better for that nowdays!
BTW, props to that guy who gave Jenner a pound for grabbing that Pepsi.
EDIT: Also, we see you, two black Muslim guys smiling at the cops! This ad now gets two more diversity points.
Jenner then passes the beverage to one stone-faced cop. He then takes a sip, and begins to let his guard down.
Look at em muddatruckin' kids, smiling and hopping like Jesus returned. And the Muslim woman is taking snaps like she's gonna win a Pulitzer.
Now they wont have to worry about Johnny Law beating their brains in with N-word beaters, regardless of whether they're violent or not. It's that easy, people. The next time 5.0 lurks around demonstrations, all we gotta do is hand em some good ol' water with brown sugar flavoring, wrapped up in a can.
And they'll be nice to us! Police brutality solved. Quick, somebody reading this, DM us Mike Brown's parents' phone numbers so we can spread the good news.
Kendall Jenner deserves a Nobel Prize for her work. In just 2 minutes, she stopped her photo shoot, enjoyed some violin work, and quelled possible cop violence with a Pepsi.
Damn. Wonder if MLK Jr. would've loved to have a Pepsi on hand in 60s Birmingham.