There's something very fucking wrong with this picture. Yes, the pimping of adolescent girls is a travesty of brute sexism, mixed in with capitalist ways of profiting off said ism. But we're not talking about that here. (Still, you should tell your boys pimps are not cool. What if, like, you were walking down the street and your mom was on the block with a john, being pimped out? Think of that the next time you emulate Snoop Dogg's latest video.)
What we're referencing here is the headline's very first word. For those of you who don't know, "FoHi" here is referring to Forest Hills, a very rich, old money neighborhood in Queens. As Q-boro natives, we're well familiar with the area. But let us make something perfectly clear right now. There is no, nor should there ever be, such a wretched thing as FoHi.
Gentrification, you've gone too Gahtdamb far this time. We were cool with SoHo, then NoHo; FiDi was acceptable; SoBro had us raising an eyebrow; the Jax made us want to shoot somebody with George Clinton's Bop Gun, then shoot their asses with a real one right afterward, all to see how a body dies while simultaneously funking around.
But this? This shit right here? This is completely unacceptable. It's bad enough the hipster clans are permeating into Central Queens, making Elmhurst, Jackson Heights and possibly even Corona their targets. Now they're creating pet names for their newly stolen lands???!!
What's next? Will Flushing turn into FluHi? Ridgewood into Rwood? Jamaica becoming Jamrock 2.0???
Damn. This is scary, ya'll. The trust-fund kids are coming. And we may not be able to stop them in time. To Hell you should go, Queens Chronicle!