Quick Story from our EIC, folks. BTW, DON'T press play on this clip until we tell you to.
Mid 2003 was amazing for yours truly. New York City's blackout gave me a perfect moment to see fellow Noo Yawkers toss their Greek-ripoff coffee cups to the ground and instead use those hands to help others in need.
People turned into traffic cops without a salary, directing cars under dead streetlights. Lovely people packed more humans than humanely possible into cramped vans to transport them home from Manahttan-a lifeless subway beneath them. I realized that selflessness is man's true virtue. That, and turning plastic bags into emergency shoewear.
Andonly a few days after an angry white woman told my mom, "That's why I
hate you niggers," while they waited in line to get whatever remaining
gas was left in the aftermath, she told me something:
hate you niggers," while they waited in line to get whatever remaining
gas was left in the aftermath, she told me something:
"You know, if you ever want me to buy you anything, like toys or tickets to a concert, you don't have to be afraid to ask." I, seldom wanting for material stuff, just shook my head and said, "Thanks, but I'm okay." What the fuck kinda mom wants her kid to ask her to buy him stuff, anyways?"
Okay , story over.
Now, why did we bore you with this? The above video (which you can play now) came out yesterday, showing a kid entering Epic Tantrum mode-simply because he got last year's entry in the WWE 2K series for X-Mas. He then proceeds to angrily slam down the gift box it came in.
Our EIC witnessed nothing but selfless gestures during that legendary blackout. Juxtaposed with his mom's later words, he realized a very simple observation.
This is a selfish kid. And his parental units should put a moratorium on buying
him any toys for a year. That is, until "selflessness" replaces "selfishness" in
his vocabulary.
Should the latter not happen, maybe the belt would do his little ass right.
Happy Holidays, folks!