Bruce Jenner finally released his inner her. Bree Newsome sonned racism in South Carolina. Our Irish breadrin realized gay people marrying is totally awesome.
That said, maybe 2015 wasn't "The Year Of Tragedy." Perhaps it was "The Year Of Canadians Who Killed Philly Emcees On Record?" No. Maybe, "The Year Bernie Sanders Became Our Next Obama?" Naw, that's so 2016.
We'll just call it the "Top 10 Epic (And Not So Epic) Things That Happened In 2015!"
By the way, for this edition-and all others going forth-you're gonna see either a (Epic) or (Not So Epic) tag next to each entry.
10. (Epic) Drake Kills Meek Mill: T'was a wonderful July 21st, 2015, when one Robert "Meek Mill" Williams decided to aggressively tap on the shoulders of one humble Aubrey "Drake" Graham with this shocking allegation.
Sadly, for Mr. Mill, that Canuck was an MMA fighter on wax, starting arguably the most one-sided Hop-Hop beef in history. Drake responded with a "Charged Up" light jab, which elicited no response from the Philly native, then hit the jugular with "Back-To-Back," essentially ending Meek's career within an eight-day timespan. Milly tried getting back up with "Wanna Know" but fell back on the floor.
To rub salt in the would, "Back-To-Back" charted on Billboard's Hot 100, meaning Millie has to hear how he got "bodied by a singing (rhymes with "migga")" in every club he enters for the next few years.
9. (Not So Epic) Rowdy Roddy Piper Dies: "Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions."
So said Rowdy Roddy Piper, one of the best showmen in WWE history. Piper sadly passed away in July from a heartattack.
He was many things: The man who defeated Hulk Hogan every time they faced one another, the man who took a coconut into Pop Culture history and the man who co-main evented the first ever Wrestlemania. He captivated millions of fans with his antics and charisma. And there will never be another. Sleep well, Mr. Toombs.
8. (Somewhat Epic) Bruce Jenner Is Dead. Meet Caitlyn Jenner: Yes, this is low-key related to the Kardashian think tank.
But Bruce Jenner's death, and rebirth as Caitlyn Jenner was a resounding shot for any transgender individuals struggling with acceptance in a country uber hostile towards them. The transition may have decimated a 23-year marriage. How thee ever, it's always better to live your truth. Maybe now, others who know their gender pronoun isn't a fit will be more confident in being who they are.
7. (Epic)UFC's First Beastette Gets K'Oed: The timeless adage, "Anything Can Happen" earned another legitimacy badge at UFC 193 on November 15th. That night, Holly Holm etched her name in the legend books, and KO'ed Ronda Rousey with the most savage head kick to become UFC Bantamweight Champion.
Yes. Ronda "Mrs. Break-Your-Arms-In-14-Seconds Fucking" Rousey. Perhaps the greatest
6. (Not So Epic) Germanwings Plane Crash: The f*8k's with all these plane crashes lately? Last year we got Malaysia Flight 17 in Ukraine, the Lockheed C-130H in Algeria and the AirAsia Flight 850 near Borneo.
This year saw the Germanwings crash in April, which had a suicidal twist. Apparently, co-pilot Andreas Lubitz locked the captain out the cockpit and intentionally drove the plane into the French Alps. Medical records show Lubitz was suicidal years before getting his pilot license. So now we have to worry if our pilots want to "end it" in spectacular ways, taking everyone with them?
5. (Not So Epic) Sandra Bland, Freddie Gray's Deaths: We grappled with the idea of where to put Freddie Gray and Sandra Bland's deaths here. But the more we thought about it, we realized they deserved a combined entry. Sandra Bland was found hanging in a Texas jail cell after an arrest during a traffic stop in July; Freddie Gray died after a ride in a Baltimore paddy wagon in April.
In each instance, funny circumstances popped up behind their deaths. An autopsy report determined Bland killed herself.
Freddie Gray's police ride almost severed his spine. But questions remain. Why would a woman on her way to starting a new job suddenly kill herself? Why didn't Baltimore cops securely fasten Gray into his seat? Wethinks, "sigh", that yet again racism has reared its ugly heads, and again, being Black in America is an endless crime. When's the last time we're gonna have to write that?
4. (Not So Epic) Donald Trump's Presidential Candidacy: When Donald Trump first announced his presidential campaign in June, the New York Daily News printed a lovely cover of him in clown garb, titled, "Clown Runs For Prez." Well, fast forward six months later, and the Racist That Could (Rumor has it that "Trump" means "Kill Spooks" in Latin.) is not only whopping his Republican opponents in polls, he's struck fear in the hearts of Americans, who now realize that he could take over D.C. next year.
Imagine what life would be under President Trump. His first executive order: The Muslim Exclusion Act Of 2016. Squeegee men could be subject to attack from automatic ray guns installed near tunnels. Hispanics could find themselves living in FEMA camps. Yikes.
3. (Epic) Bree Newsome Takes Down Confederate Flag: On June 27th, 2015. a woman named Bree Newsome took down a 30-foot high Confederate flag outside South Carolina's state house. An apparent response to the Chaleston shooting 10 days earlier, and the ensuing debate over the battle flag, Newsome proved young folk are hyper ready to strike American racism. Her action also sparked a series of art homages. And real talk, black women are the true leaders in this fightback. Just to remind ya'll know. Now if only someone would do this to the American flag-which has a waaayy more grimy history behind its stripes.
2. (Not So Epic) Charleston Shootings:By now you've realized some of the Not So Epic entries have been tied to racism. The trend sadly continues here, as we revisit the Charleston mass shootings spurring Bree Newsome's actions.
During a Bible Study at South Carolina's Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in June, Dylann Roof began opening fire on black parishioners. His reason: "I have to do it. You rape our women and you're taking over our country. And you have to go." Nine people were dead by the time it ended. And once more, we had that painful reminder that the tagline, "Black People Are Not Humans" is America's mantra.
1. (Not So Epic) ISIS Attacks Paris: The Islamic State proved itself arguably America's worst unintentional creation (second to the Taliban) when members unleashed coordinated suicide bombings and shootings through Paris in November. One-hundred and thirty people lost their lives. ISIS immediately took responsibility. They argued the attacks were revenge for France's airstrikes on their recruits in Syria.
That, in turn, has resulted in France launching airstrikes against ISIS targets in Syria. Which, if you know anything about NATO's history, essentially means moreinnocent folks will lose their lives. All justified to ensure Exxon Mobil gets dat' oil. Right?
Damn. What a sad year. But cheer up. Twenty-sixteen is already looking brighter already.
Word has it, two guys with the government names, "Bruce Wayne" and "Clark Kent" are gonna knuckle up next year. Gonna be a pretty good fight.
Credir for picture goes to http://www.gocanvas.com/content/blog/post/the-unofficial-top-10-canvas-features-for-a-paperless-paradise